School refusal, avoidance and absenteeism start subtly. Sometimes it is just a stomachache, then a headache, but it only appears on school mornings. Other times, you notice school refusal through your child’s unwillingness and sluggishness in getting ready for school. In fact, your child can suddenly refuse to come down the stairs or get in the car.

But every time this happens, you respond the way caring parents should. You try to talk it through, reassure your child, adjust their routines, become stern in your demands, or neglect it, hoping that time, maturity, consistency and discipline will smooth things out. But there is a looming worry, because it keeps getting worse. 

Why has school suddenly become hard and scary? How do I help? What do I do? Who should I talk to? 

This concern is becoming increasingly common for families, educators, and healthcare providers across New Jersey as approximately 18% of New Jersey students missed 10% of school year. But this article provides that solution. 

Chronic School Refusal in New Jersey 

Across New Jersey, concerns about school attendance among children and teenagers are receiving increased attention, and the state, in 2025, formed a task force to better understand this chronic absenteeism. 

Read Recent Report of Chronic School Absenteeism in New Jersey 

School Refusal, Absenteeism, or Avoidance: What is it? 

School refusal, avoidance or absenteeism describes when a child has difficulty regularly attending school due to emotional stress, anxiety, or other challenges. Chronic absenteeism is a related term that refers to missing 10% or more of the school year, whether excused or unexcused.  

These patterns can develop gradually and often reflect underlying struggles such as anxiety, social pressure, learning challenges, or family stress. The key is that the child feels overwhelmed by going to school. 

What it is not? 

It is important to say this clearly and early: school refusal and avoidance is not

• laziness,  

• a failure of parenting,  

• something a child can simply push through on their own. 

• something discipline solves. 

Why does it happen?  

There is rarely a single reason behind school refusal and avoidance, and most families discover that it develops gradually rather than all at once. But what is certain is, many reports have linked the cause to anxiety, peer pressure, academic struggles, bullying and the likes. 

Read these reports on School Avoidance: 1, 2, 3 

For some students, family stress or changes at home make it harder to focus on school. For others, the struggles over the past years have made routines and expectations harder to tolerate. They just want to break free. And by the time parents seek help, they have already tried a wide range of reasonable approaches, including  

• encouragement,  

• setting firm expectations,  

• offering incentives,  

• meeting with school staff, or  

• waiting in the hope that the problem resolves on its own. 

Do they work? Yes! All the time? No! 

How to spot signs of school refusal, absenteeism, and avoidance? 

Here are 6 signs to watch out for: 

• Regular physical/sickness complaints  

• Consistent emotional distress before school 

• Frequent requests to stay home on school days 

• Slow preparation for school 

• Fear and avoidance behaviors 

• A sudden shift in mood or confidence 

You might notice regular complaints, but there is rarely a single reason behind school refusal. However, if you notice one or more of these signs, it may be a concern worth exploring. 

What should support look like? 

Meaningful support focuses less on quick fixes and more on understanding what a child needs to re-engage with learning in a steady and sustainable way. This often includes  

• addressing mental health concerns 

• addressing academic expectations,  

• maintaining consistent routines that feel manageable for families,  

• and coordinating care between parents, schools, and providers. 

When support feels steady and collaborative rather than reactive, students rebuild confidence and tolerance for the school environment at their own pace.  

What is the Solution? 

Check our Services: Silvergate Prep  

At GenPsych, we work with families navigating school refusal and avoidance through our outpatient mental health programs and Silvergate Prep, supporting students whose emotional needs make consistent school attendance difficult. Our teams collaborate closely with families, school counselors, districts, and medical professionals to address the underlying causes of avoidance while keeping students connected to their education whenever possible. 

Note: Our role is not to replace schools, but to support students and families in a way that aligns with the systems they are already part of. 

While structure and accountability are important, it breeds pressure and standards. And relying solely on pressure, especially for kids and teenagers whose level of confidence is low, can unintentionally increase fear and resistance. The cycle becomes exhausting for parents and discouraging for students. 

If school mornings have become a source of stress, if attendance concerns are starting to affect academic progress, or if you are unsure whether what you are seeing will resolve on its own, it may help to know that school refusal is both common and treatable with the right support.

Families do not need to navigate this alone, and seeking help does not mean something has gone wrong. Often, it means recognizing that a child needs a different kind of support for a period of time, and that support exists right here in New Jersey, when and if you are ready. 

Learn more by visiting GenPsych or speaking directly with our admissions team at 855-436-7792.